Year One.

To my one year old Goose,

There is so much I want you to know about how I feel about you and today seems like the day to write it. I want you to know that I can feel my heart expand when you smile at me. I want you to know that I love that you are such a momma's boy. I want you to know that I sang you Mariah Carey's "Always be my baby" relentlessly on your first birthday. I want you to know that you have literally brought sunshine into our house. That your sister adores you. That you are a heart throb. That you are all boy. You love to climb and get dirty. Starting 7 am you are groaning at me and pointing at the door to go outside. When you are outside it is the only time you don't cry for me if you don't see me. This makes making dinner really easy. You hate having your diaper changed and have perfected the alligator roll which makes changing you impossible....and messy. You are a biter but at heart a lover. You pull hair with the strength of a thousand men and I have literally seen clumps of your sister's hair in your hands. You will sit contently in your stroller for hours but cannot stand to be in a shopping cart. You are sometimes a really good eater but as of late just a really good food thrower. You say Dada and dog. You tell Ralphie to shush when he is being too loud. You are the king of raspberries and well timed tootie noises. You wave and blow kisses by puckering your lips. You are very stingy with this but the other day at Ikea were throwing all sorts of smooches to a strange man driving away in a pickup truck. You are 70% of the time a solid sleeper. One ounce of illness and it all goes out the window and oh boy you have had more than your share of illness this year. You have kept me awake in the middle of the night more hours than should be legal in the year but I am still alive. You are the little boy of my dreams who I never knew I needed but cannot live without. I want to teach you to cook, to clean, to be a great and supportive partner but in truth you are mostly teaching me. Teaching me patience, how to love unconditionally, how to truly forgive, how to embrace the moment, and how to smile more. Your first year of life has been a year of reflection for me and I thank you for that. I can still feel how I felt when I held you for the first time but I cannot believe that I feel that same feeling now a million times over. You are a year old and I am already worried about the day you leave me. Girls somehow stay with their moms but it seems boys cut the cord a little more strongly and I fear that day. I love you to levels I didn't know I was capable of. I adore you, my son.