Boyfriend in a Box

I wasn't prepared for the feelings of nostalgia that having my own children would create. Watching Rivers, I feel closer to my childhood than I have in years. It's like memories and feelings from my youth are stored in little glass jars and every now and then the lid gets popped off one and the vapor of the memory drifts across my nose and drags my senses back to the early 90's. Some of these memories make me cringe. They aren't negative or sad, they are....well they are nerdy. They are embarrassingly nerdy. I feel a lot of endearment towards the nerdy little girl that I was and at the same time I am still slightly embarrassed by her and the things she did.

Tonight, I am going back to 12 years old. It was the last week of summer before school was to start and like every year, my mother, aunt and family friend had loaded up the cars with children and taken us to Pismo Beach for the week. The trip always looked very similar. Days at the beach, afternoons at the pool, dinners at McClintocks and Brad's and at least once a trip to the Pismo Beach Outlets. My cousin Katharine and our friend Angie, all of us the same age, were always the most interested in the Claire's store that resided in the corner. I can't recall if it was a Claire's outlet but it was always so disorganized and contained the most random assortment of goods that I am going to assume it was. It was like searching for treasure. It was better than sticking your hand in the leather saddlebag at McClintocks and wondering what you would pull out. On this fateful day, my on the cusp of teenage-hood self, found something that I should have not even looked twice at. I should have walked right past it. Ok, maybe I could have looked at it and laughed and then set it back thinking - who would be such a fool to buy that? But it didn't happen like that. Instead, I picked it up and was immediately enamored. What could it have been you ask? Well, a little internet research and presto I present to you Boyfriend in A Box. Even without the picture of the back of the box listing the other "irresistible teens" to choose from, I could have told you I picked Skater Skye. I still remember his name. I also remember that his mother's occupation was a tattoo artist. I remember being teased by my cousin and friend for purchasing this, but it didn't matter to me. I also remember carrying the wallet sized-photo of "Skye" around in my quicksilver wallet for well over a year. I vaguely recall pulling it out a time or two and saying it was a picture of a guy I had met at Pismo that summer before but I can't be certain. Can we just take a minute or two to talk about a few things here?

1.) On the front this clearly states this is: The Teen Edition. Was there an adult version? A child version? A baby version?
2.) There was an Owner's Manual included. I desperately wish I could recall what that entailed. Directions on how to lie to your friends? Best ways to stage a breakup so you can attract a real boyfriend in real life?
3.) Warranty. I don't even know what to say about this. Could I return it if my friends called my bluff? What if the picture of him ripped from me carrying it around too much - would they send me a new one?

I find comfort in the fact that this product was created at all. Comfort in knowing I was probably not the only prepubescent girl to be enamored with the do-it-yourself boyfriend kit. If there was me, there was likely someone else. Unless this particular Claire's really was an outlet full of discarded and never purchased items, and in that case I really am alone. Alone on my embarrassing Boyfriend in A Box island.