Starting a New Job

I'm starting a new job sometime in August! After several months of feeling overwhelmed and disorganized and lots of prayer, I have decided to pursue a new job!

This job will be difficult. It will require endless daytime and nighttime hours and even overtime on weekends. Many things will be asked of me and I will have to continually learn new things everyday. Some days I'll get to do medicinal work, sometimes I will be a chef.  I will have to do maintenance and cleaning. I've been told that I am expected to teach. I will have to account for finances and work within a budget. I will have to oversee the whole operation.

This job will be the best. There is time set aside during the day for naps and playing. Imagination is encouraged and creativity shall know no boundaries. In this job I am encouraged to seek inspiration from outside sources. I can do this job in the home or away from the home, maybe even at a park. Exercising during work hours is encouraged. Casual attire is welcomed. I will get rewarded daily with smiles and hugs. I will get to make my own schedule.

But the main reason this job is the best, is that I will get to be with my children everyday that I work. I have decided to quit my current job and my new job is a full-time stay at home momma. I truly had the best part-time job working for my father-in-law but after having Gus my days in the office went from 3 to 2 and most weeks I couldn't even manage that. I constantly felt like I was missing things at work and this created stress. I felt guilty that my co-workers were having to pick up my slack. And at the same time I felt disorganized at home. I felt as though I couldn't devote my full attention to our household and our children. I was lacking balance and something had to give. I am filled with joy that Dave has blessed me with the honor of staying home with our children. I am nervous that this is the most intense position I will ever be given and the childhood of my children will be directly affected by how well I perform. I will turn to God and pray for grace. I will admit my faults and ask for forgiveness. I will cry, I will rejoice. I will be strong and stand firm in my beliefs and reasoning. I will not be perfect. I will try my best. This is the career I've chosen and I really want to knock this one out of the park.

The Best Little Big Sister I Know

Dear Rivers, 

While I doubt this will be a memory that fades, I felt the need to put this into words just in case. I want to make sure it is forever remembered what an incredible sister you have been from the beginning. I am truly in awe of the loving heart you have for your brother and how you have so unabashedly accepted him and made room for him in your life. You constantly amaze me and make me want to better myself. I watch you and pray that I can love as fiercely and freely as you do so naturally.

You have always been the most concerned of any of us when Gus cries. You are the first to rush to his side and as more time passes you feel confident than you can comfort him without assistance from anyone else. You often tell me "Mommy, I got him" and you do. You are there before I can get there and your two little hands are on either side of his face, stroking him and telling him "It's alright, Gussy. It's ok, big boy." You are naturally nurturing in a way I could only hope to be.

You are quickly becoming, Gussy's favorite. I can't blame the fellow, you are hilarious but it is more than that. I can tell he truly trusts you. Even when he was a newborn and you would ask to hold him, I would watch and see him visibly relax in your arms. It is that way to date. He is perfectly content as long as you are in the room with him.

Everything we do, you want to make sure Gus is included in. When I tell you that we are going to the grocery store you ask "Can Gussy come?" I know you may not want your little brother to tag along to everything in your life but I can already tell you will always make room for him.

I pick you up from school and the whole car ride home you are talking to him and telling him how you missed him. "Gus, I missed you, buddy!" Even when we finally make it home you continue to tell me how much you missed your Gus and how much you love him.

Everyday, I am reassured that we did the right thing by adding to our family and giving you a sibling. I always knew I wanted him but I did not know how you would feel about it and you have quickly dispelled any worries I had. You are truly the most loving big sister I have ever seen and your empathy and heart measure well beyond your two and a half years of age. It makes me want to give you lots and lots of siblings but for now I'll let you enjoy just the one.

The Drive Home From Preschool

Rivers: Mommy my eyes are going away.
Me: Your eyes are going away?
Rivers: Mmhmm.
Me: Where are they going?
Rivers: To Oma's house.
Me: Why are they going there?
Rivers: To see Bleuie and Lala. (My mom's dogs)

Two seconds later.....

Rivers: Mommy I'm a princess!

A Preschooler.

Today, Rivers started preschool. She will be going Tuesdays and Thursday full days while I'm working. As I had been used to taking her to daycare every Wednesday I thought I would be more emotionally prepared for this but as I drove to work after leaving her the tears welling in my eyes told me otherwise. It is the strangest mix of emotions. I feel guilt, excitement, relief, stress, pride and worry. As I was driving I recalled feeling this way when we started daycare. I remember barely being able to drive to work that day, my eyes were so wet with tears as I wept and worried if I had done the right thing. Today I realized this won't be the last time I feel this way and it will happen time and time again throughout my life. I'm sure I'll feel this when her little brother arrives in February. I will feel this way when she starts kindergarten, elementary, junior high and high school. I will feel this way driving away from her after dropping her off at college.  I will feel this way for the rest of my life - it is the mother's lot in life. It is change and for the first time in my life change is becoming bittersweet. Up until this point in my life change was something I was always ready for. Always ready for the next new exciting thing around the corner. But now? Now I'm protective of my time, my little girl and my heart. She has changed change for me. It is still wonderful but it is oh so bittersweet.

A Two Year Old

There's a two year old who walks these halls.
A two year old who tests the strength of the construction of our house with the volume her lungs project.
Who runs on the tile and occassionally slips when her socks do not provide enough grip.
A little lady who twirls on the rugs and asks to play "Rosies" no less than 15 times a day.
There is a two year old who has spilled milk and stained our couch with yogurt covered handprints.
A two year old who adores her dog and tells strangers all day how "Ralphie is good boy dog too".
Who hides her toys in cabinets and four hours later recalls exactly where they were.
A little lady who emphasizes "I do it myself" and insists to start at the beginning if you try to help at any point along the way.
There's a two year old who tries to stretch bedtime by asking "I watch Mickey?" "Read books, mom?" "Dad, lay down." and the sweetest diversion of all "More kisses, Daddy."
A two year old who asks for time out and prefers to eat her meals alone in the time out room behind closed doors.
Who calls her dad, Daddy Boy.
A little lady who tells her Momma to "Holda Me".
There's a two year old who is strong-willed but sensitive.
A two year old who shows so much empathy it makes me want to be a more caring person.
Who loves to snuggle and tell you how she's "cozy".
A little lady who is perfectly mine.
There's a two year old in this house that is mine. All mine.

New Orleans.

We were invited to a wedding in New Orleans on November 3rd and while wavering on whether or not to attend we ultimately decided that in a few short months it will be infinitely harder to get away for a weekend with two little ones in tow, so we booked the tickets and invited Oma Dachtler. I was anxious about travelling with Rivers, even though she had already been on five flights before. We recently went to Yosemite and it was hard on her to be off her schedule and out of sorts, I was worried this trip would be more of the same. I couldn't have been more wrong. She was an absolute delight the whole time and was so excited to get out and explore the city. My mom purchased a harness backpack (oh the things I said I would never do when I have kids) but it worked marvelously and allowed Rivers to feel independent while we knew she was safe and unable to disappear. We went to the Louisiana Children's Museum, Oma took her to the zoo, and we all went to the aquarium. It was such a lovely trip and I was so thankful that my mom and Rivers were there.

Brunch at The Court of Two Sisters. Boogie is sampling some bread pudding in this picture.



At the New Orleans Aquarium. She was so brave in trying to touch one of the stingrays in the petting tank.

In other news, I am about 24.5 weeks pregnant and my belly is bulging. I am honestly concerned as to how I'm going to make any more room for this growing gentleman but there is nothing I can do but sit back and let it happen. I had my repeat gestational diabetes test yesterday and am waiting on the results. I have not been feeling that great so I'm feeling inclined to believe I do have it again.

Pregnancy Stats:

How Far Along: 24.5 weeks

Size of baby: Rutabaga

Total Weight Gain: 13 lbs

Gender: Boy

Movement: The last few weeks the movement has slowed down but I think I have been too busy and too tired to pay attention.

Sleep: We are coming off a week of Rivers having croup and only sleeping through 2 of 7 nights and a vacation to New Orleans. In other words, I'm tired!

Cravings: Nothing in particular at the moment.

Best Moment this week: Agreeing on two names with Dave. I'm not sure which we will pick but I am so relieved to know we have two we are both happy with. Also, the nursery has been painted and the wallpaper goes up Monday! I'm so happy to get started on this fun process!

(Printing Toy Story Coloring Pages from the Disney website)

Me: Oh who's next???
Rivers: BUZZ!
Me: Ok, another one is printing.
Rivers: Jesse!
Me: Here is another one
Rivers: Horsey!
Me: Ok, last one! Who is it?
Rivers: ........
Me: It's Zurg!!!!!
Rivers: Hold me.

Yosemite

 My baby dear checking out the baby deer in Yosemite. Just this one second of cuteness makes up for hours upon hours of pure stinker behavior.

A Toddler in Action: Foot Flare

I think Rivers is on to a new trend. A little bit of foot flare that felt oddly awesome. It's a great little game for me. She goes into the other room to get a new rubberband, places it on my foot and repeat. In the meantime, I lay on the couch the whole time snuggled with Ralphadoo.

Bums and Blessings

Sweet child of mine, oh how she brings me so much joy. She is fiesty, wild, brave, sensitive, sweet, and oh so very funny. This disciplining thing is terribly hard because I want to laugh at all the naughty things she does and says. I know this stage is so small in the grand scheme of her life and I find it hard to be sincerely frustrated with her. Ok. Maybe that's not the whole truth. Let me clarify: at HOME I find it hard to be sincerely frustrated with her. In public, the frustration sets in quickly as my face turns red from embarrassment and I try to find my 3rd and 4th missing hands that I need to help wrangle this wild beast in. Even in these moments I feel so much sympathy for her. I can only imagine her frustration with her lack of understanding, lack of communication and having to learn that she can not always get her way. I know just how difficult all of this is because I have still not mastered much of it myself.

It is hard to describe how this baby girl makes me feel. It is hard to measure the size my heart swells up to when I think of her. It is hard to fathom the gaping hole my heart would have if she were never to have entered my life. When she looks into my eyes asking me questions, I often lose my breath with the disbelief that this beautiful creature is mine. She was born from my body and will forever know me as her mother. That is crazy!!!!!

This morning we were showering and I put a drop of foam soap in each of her hands and told her to scrub up while I turned my back so I could face the water. I expected her to start cleaning her little body as she normally does but was taken by surprise when I felt two chubby little hands working in opposite circular motions on my bum. We like to emphasize "dirty buns" around here and apparently Mama needed some assistance in that department. In such moments of sweetness, I can feel my heart fall to it's knees exhaulting God for His blessings. They are infinite, they are small, they are mighty, and they are ever present as long as we are present for them. This motherhood thing.....is a pretty mighty blessing.

Stoking the Hunger

 Bring another platter of the baby, s'il vous plait.

So thankful for this picture so I never forget her darling birthmark.

 Feeling a little nostalgic around here and so grateful to the bottom of my soul for these pictures. Lorie Chambless is amazing. http://www.loriechambless.com/